In the last 48 hours I have had separate conversations with four acquaintances, all white females (three at my workplace and one at my children’s school) about my hair. Let me preface this post by saying I have 5-year old locs and for the last few months have been getting more and more into the spirit of do-it-yourself (DIY) styling and experimentation (check out my Loc Style Library section to see what I am talking about). In this particular instance my hair was styled into a cute high bun with some faux bangs (i.e. locs curled/bent in half to give the appearance of bangs), a fairly easy style to execute and certainly attention grabbing, which are ultimately the goals of any good hair style. Getting back to my acquaintances, they all made comments about my hair, praising the style saying how fancy it was, how versatile it seemed, as in good for the office and a night on the town, and how elaborate it appeared. Then in the same breath they negated their compliments by asking if the hair was my own. Cue sound of a record being scratched – What, are you serious?
Now don’t get me wrong, I have no problems with women who wear weaves, add extensions, don wigs, dye their hair, or other types of hair enhancements and plenty of women of ALL races do and/or wear all of the above. Also this is not a criticism of my acquaintances either, they were innocently curious and I understand that. My issue is with the default assumption that my hair (Black Female Hair) is “fake” or that if a black female is wearing long hair, it must be clip in hair extensions or not her own. This clearly isn’t the case in many instances and generally isn’t a question that should be asked. Many Black women I know take exception to questions around the “realness” of their hair, most likely because for the most part no one asks other women whether they have hair extensions or are wearing a weave/wig.
Admittedly many black women do use weaves, wigs, and extensions and have even taken it to the level where ” black hair” has become an art form. There are many reasons why women opt to wear/use fake hair. Chief among these reasons is the fact that hair enhancements look good and once in place are relatively easy to maintain, and allows more time to focus on other more important daily life activities and responsibilities, instead of on primping and preening. However, despite the prominence of the usage of enhancements by black women that doesn’t mean black women should face more scrutiny or flak for doing so, or are somehow more open to being questioned about their hair-styling choices.
Bottom line: Take pride in your appearance, check your assumptions at the door, and don’t ask inappropriate questions like “is that your real hair”?