I am scared — and at a loss.
What is happening right now in the U.S. — the unjustified police shootings of African-Americans and the subsequent lack of justice in our courts for victims’ families — is horrifying.
As an African-American woman and a mother, I am scared for my son and daughter.
As a diplomat who has to go abroad and promote the American ideals of diversity, tolerance, social inclusion, rule-of-law, justice through due process and violence as a last resort, I am at a loss.
And, I’m tired, exhausted actually.
I’m tired of explaining to “friends” that the phrase Black Lives Matter does not mean that other lives don’t matter. It’s not an anti-white or anti-police slogan. There is an implied “too” at the end of the phrase, as in Black Lives Matter Too.
That phrase is not mutually exclusive, it’s not an either/or statement. No one is saying that if black lives matter, no other lives matter. Rather Black Lives Matter acknowledges the fact that black lives are not and have not been given the same status or treatment as non-black lives.
Black Lives Matter is a movement that demands our country affirm the value of black life by addressing historical and endemic problems such as the increasing racial wealth gap, institutionalized racism and gentrification, especially in neighborhoods where people of color have lived for generations. It is a call to action to fix our failing public schools, correct housing inequality and dismantle the prison industrial complex and school-to-prison pipeline that disproportionately affects people of color.
And, yes, Black Lives Matter is also a battle cry to address the police brutality and violence that continues with impunity.
None of these things translates to hatred for police or white America. Black Lives Matter is simply about acknowledging the inequities in a society that values white lives above all others and seeking the same treatment for black and other non-white lives that are just as valuable.
I’m tired of feeling scared for the safety of my children (my son in particular) and feeling powerless to do anything to protect them.
Based on the events of the last few years, apparently my children are not safe going to the grocery store, selling CDs or “loosies” (individual cigarettes), reading in parked cars, wearing a sweatshirt with a hood, playing music too loudly, driving cars or being in their own neighborhood if they are considered “nice” or asking police why they stopped them (because if they do then they’ll be perceived as “non-compliant,” i.e. threatening). Even raising your hands in the air to clearly demonstrate that you have no weapons and are being fully compliant and respectful, still somehow manages to get you killed. We can’t even invoke our rights as citizens and express our dissent with the status quo by protesting peacefully, a la Colin Kaepernick, without receiving death threats or being called anti-American.
So what options are we left with? How then should I instruct my children to behave when interacting with police?
And I’m tired of hearing the argument that “black-on-black crime” is the source of more black deaths than police brutality. The implication is that African-Americans shouldn’t be upset when murders are committed by the very people sworn to protect and serve them, as if one has anything to do with the other.
There are numerous reports and articles debunking the myth of black-on-black crime and providing evidence that “crime” happens most frequently within members of the same race, who live in the same community. People who commit crimes tend to do so within close proximity to themselves, which is to say that in highly populated, deeply impoverished inner-city areas largely inhabited by people of color, crimes will be perpetrated by and against other people of color.
This has nothing to do with people of color targeting one another intentionally and everything to do with who lives in the same neighborhood/community. Those who insist on invoking black-on-black crime usually fail to acknowledge that most crime is intra-racial.
The continuous focus on black-on-black crime is a diversionary tactic, a tangent that suggests black people don’t have the right to be outraged about police violence. But the Black Lives Matter movement recognizes the crime problem, and refuses to allow this argument to cloud the real issue of police brutality/violence and abuse of authority.
Black Lives Matter isn’t just about black people; it is about all of us. We all have a voice and a role to play in bringing about real change in our society, righting wrongs and injustices and ensuring we are all truly seen and treated as equals. That is what Black Lives Matter is about. I hope this sets the record straight.
Lia Miller is from Rotterdam and currently lives overseas
