I have read medical articles that claim that the frequency of sex dwindles after marriage for both men and women. However, the numbers of women who lose interest in sex are almost double that of men. This made me wonder if this is true or not and if it is, why? What I found in doing research for this article, is that there are many contributing factors to a person’s interest in sex, such as stress, decreasing hormone levels, relationship issues, limited free time, and other problems and external causes. For many women, sex is multifaceted and more complicated than just the physical act itself. We have all heard the old players’ saying that to truly make love to a woman you need to make love to her mind. As cheesy as that sounds, it is actually quite accurate in that a woman’s mental state often directly impacts her interest in having sex. This is especially the case for women after they get married when in most cases their level of responsibility increases and they find themselves spread more thinly.
To dig deeper into this topic, I reached out to Atlanta-based psychologist and relationship expert Dr. Laura Louis, founder of the After I Do Academy, who had a lot of interesting insights. I wanted to clear the air on whether or not it is true that women lose interest in sex after marriage or if that’s just a myth. Dr. Louis says it’s not necessarily incorrect. “Oftentimes women lose interest in sex when their other needs aren’t being attended to, specifically, their emotional, mental, and physical needs,” she says.
She noted that in many cases, arousal takes longer for women on average. I took this to mean, aside from an increased time to get into foreplay, that also, prioritizing sex and carving adequate time out for the act, especially after marriage, is important to promote sustained interest.
And time is something many women don’t have much of.